Hmm.. interesting day. It started with a giant headache but I had photo 1 and I was eager to get some more printing done. I'm glad I did too because I finished our next assignment, plus the one after, plus the half the one after that yipppee! Never in my life have I not been a procrastinator until now. I really enjoy this and it doesn't feel like homework. Wouldn't it be nice to make a career out of taking photos? It would be but I like security. The stress that would come along with wondering where my next paycheck would come from would shave 10 or more years from my life.

Annnnyway, I got some good prints, had some good conversation with a classmate (really good for me since I'm anti-social), and was complimented on my purple blouse as well as the way my breasts looked in it. The latter made me feel weird but, oddly enough, it made me feel like I was 20 and not 32. I felt like a part of my age group again.

But the most exciting thing was when I came home and "Sinus Buster" had perused my blog and offered to let me try their product FREE! You know you're a real blogger when companies are giving you stuff for free. I can't wait for it to get here to try it out and review it. I'm really relying on it to work because I can't be addicted to nasal spray forever.

Thank you to Lynne from Dynova Lab for making my day :)

This year I'm participating in Collinsville, Illinois relay for life event on the team Beat Cancer. Each team is to raise money and awareness about cancer in the months leading up to a "walk" event. At the event various games will be played, contests, and a walk where someone from each team must be on the trail at all times. My team's goal is to raise $2000 or $150 each. I haven't raised much but in case any family/anonymous people want to donate money toward my $150 goal and my teams $2000 please click here. Any amount can be donated and all amounts are greatly appreciated! If you'd rather send cash or check please e-mail me (hxndsxdown@aol.com).

#@%?!

All of a sudden, out of nowhere I have the worlds worst allergies. It makes me want to WTF really loudly. But I won't because family might be lurking my blog.

I can't stop sneezing and if I'm not sneezing my nose is too dry. I hate sneezing allergy sneezes because these aren't sweet little girly sneezes. These are monster scream sneezes accompanied by lots of saliva (the only kind my sister has, which make me want to smack her...so annoying). Half the time I need to sneeze terribly and all of a sudden it just goes away, leaving me unsatisfied. Damn it. Mostly I just run to the nearest bright light and stare into it until I explode.

I think I'm forming an "addiction" to
 my nasal spray but I can't stand nasal congestion. What the hell is that about anyway. When whoever or whatever was creating the human body, he or she really didn't think nasal congestion through. There is no need for it. I get it, I'm allergic to something, no need to close up my nose so I can't breath. I understand it is to block a foreign body from entering my body but I don't understand why a little pollen is so bad for me? I'm just going to breath it in through my mouth then. Same with cat hair, dog hair, whatever else people are allergic to. Allergies are mistakes and the body's response to allergies are even worse mistakes. WHY would anyone think its a good idea to puff up the body and constrict the airway of someone stung by a bee? Their own body is the the threat at this point, not the bee. The bee isn't going to suffocate them. Now I get why we're our own worst enemy.

There is an alternative to nasal spray. It's "homeopathic", ohhh. It's called "Sinus Buster" and basically, it's injecting a swift dose of pepper spray up the nose so that...something happens...and the congestion is gone. I'm really thinking about getting some. It's $10 on ebay or $15 on the Sinus Buster website. Maybe I'll get some soon...I'm running out of money in my secret bank account and I've spent $100 in Brandon and my account on crafts/office supplies (hopefully he doesn't notice...) so my nasal congestion will have to #$%! off.

This one sounds the best.

Decisions, decisions...

 I have a Photo 1 assignment due in April where we have to depict 'The 7 Deadly Sins' and we're permitted to use our manual cameras or digital cameras. I don't have a digital SLR but I really, really, really want one so that I can fulfill the assignment digitally and continue to take my own photos and "print" them without the giant cost of a dark room + supplies. It's not feasible on my 'budget', especially since we're buying a house in the next 6 or so months (I still don't have a time-line on that, thanks Navy..). But anyway, I love photography and I'm good at it. I want to keep doing it. I have a little extra money right now from financial aid, even after buying textbooks for school and I want to spend it toward a digital slr.

I've been looking extensively for a few weeks and I've narrowed it down to this one based on it's price, quality, and reviews:
Canon EOS Rebel XSi

I haven't seen any pictures from this camera up close, but it seems pretty nice. It isn't the newest model but that doesn't bother me so much. I think it's more about the photographer and his or her eye, rather than the fancy camera functions. It's in my budget, even if bought with the 18-55mm lense and the accessories. I already have a camera bag, though it's Kodak. But who cares what brand the bag has on it.

I don't really know much about cameras. I have a friend with the T1i and those pictures look pretty crisp, same brand, different model. So I'm not sure that helps. This camera has good reviews, but I don't know. I don't make big purchases. When I do I have to carefully plan it out and be completely sure I'm not buying it on a whim, but rather with a genuine desire to make use of it and that it's a reliable item. It's frustrating to buy something and have it turn out broken..

If anyone knows anything about cameras, please chime in. I don't want to spend more the price of this camera, which is $559. Edit: I bought this camera today plus a really fancy warranty! But now I am seriously broke.

My Photo's

I'm in photo 1 at SWIC (35 mm slr's, black and white printing). I took it for fun and I'm really enjoying it so far. We haven't had many assignments yet but I've been taking a lot of pictures anyway. Here are some of my favorites so far:

Sonnet XVII

I came across this poem years ago when I saw the Robin Williams movie "Patch Adams" based off of a true story about a quirky doctor. It's my favorite poem and I think it greatly captures the way one feels when they honestly love another. Below the poem is a clip from "Patch Adams" of Patch 'Hunter' Adams reciting the poem to his lost love Corrine.

Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda

I do not love you as if you were a salt rose, or topaz
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep

Can't Go Back Now

"Can't Go Back Now" by The Weepies. They're a husband-wife duo.

Yesterday when you were young
Everything you needed done was done for you
Now you do it on your own
But you find you're all alone, what can you do?

You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now

You know there will be days
When you're so tired
That you can't take another step
The night will have no stars
And you'll think you've gone as far
As you will ever get

You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now

And yeah, yeah, you go where you want to go
Yeah, yeah, be what you want to be
If you ever turn around, you'll see me

I can't really say
Why everybody wishes they were somewhere else
But in the end, the only steps that matter
Are the ones you take all by yourself

You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
Yeah, you and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now
Walk on, walk on, walk on
You can't go back now

You'll Be Fine

"You'll be Fine" by Tim DeLaughter (of the Polyphonic Spree)

I'm surprised that a popular Showtime show like The United States of Tara has no soundtrack.. Nor can I find lyrics or a download (even on iTunes or isohunt) for this song.

Television

The best shows on television:

The Office

Weeds

Glee

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

True Blood

The United States of Tara

Community

Paranoia

There is a Ouija board in my closet and it is causing me a great deal of anxiety. I'm not a fan of Ouija boards because I have an over-active imagination and the idea of spirits, good and bad are one of my biggest fears.

Even though I'm petrified of the idea, I'm still incredibly interested in the paranormal. It all started when my Grandma let me watch The Poltergeist when I was 4. I remember it well. I have watched the movie recently, and compared to a lot of the horror movies these days, it really isn't that scary but still, I get creeped out. There's been an influx of absolutely terrifying scary movies lately, two being Paranormal Activity and the Fourth Kind. Both of those movies scared me so badly, I still have trouble getting them out of my head. The Fourth Kind isn't about ghosts but I'd still consider it in the "paranormal" realm because Aliens are "not normal". I recently succumbed and bought dark curtains for my bedroom window so nothing other-worldly cold stare in.

There are 3 instances in my life where something really scared me. The first was when I was 10 and I was awake late at night. I can't remember if I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep or if something had woke me up. But the sensor light on the front porch suddenly lit up and my heart jumped into my throat. The next thing that happened and that I'm 100% sure happened and wasn't a dream or my imagination was that someone whispered "Sarah". I didn't know whether to hide under my covers or make a run for it. Eventually ,I ran to my moms room and knocked on the door. I told her I had a bad dream but I wish I had told her what really happened. A few years later I told her.

Another time, I was up early at around 6am. I had stayed at my dads house. It was still dark outside and I was going into the kitchen to get some water. I walked past the opening to the living room and a torso shaped figure with no legs jumped from the middle of the stairs to the bottom. The figure looked like a sun-spot or when a camera flashes and there are spots in your vision. It was white like that. I'm not sure if what I saw was real or if it could have been explained by logic. Even before that instance I was nervous in that house.

The last time anything strange happened to me was around this time last year. It was the middle of the night and I woke up, a dark cloaked figure that resembled one of the Wraiths in the Lord of the Ring's movies floated to me. I watched it open my door then it came to my face and attempted to touch me with this dark grey boney, long, long nailed fingers. Before it touched me I tried to make a sound but all that came out was me trying to gasp in surprise but it was like I couldn't breath in to gasp, so it was a weird squeak sound. Then I woke up and figured it was a dream. I woke up and what was weird was that I was turned the opposite way in my bed. My feet were where my head usually was and my head was where my feet usually are. In my dream I was turned this way as well, but when I went to bed I was the right way. I hope to God that this was only a dream and not anything else. There is a long history behind my dream actually. People of all cultures have written about similar experiences in the past. It's called an "Old Hag" dream. Some people believe it's purely psychological and others say its alien abduction. I say that I probably won't sleep well tonight reminscing about it.