Sonnet XVII

I came across this poem years ago when I saw the Robin Williams movie "Patch Adams" based off of a true story about a quirky doctor. It's my favorite poem and I think it greatly captures the way one feels when they honestly love another. Below the poem is a clip from "Patch Adams" of Patch 'Hunter' Adams reciting the poem to his lost love Corrine.

Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda

I do not love you as if you were a salt rose, or topaz
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep

Can't Go Back Now

"Can't Go Back Now" by The Weepies. They're a husband-wife duo.

Yesterday when you were young
Everything you needed done was done for you
Now you do it on your own
But you find you're all alone, what can you do?

You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now

You know there will be days
When you're so tired
That you can't take another step
The night will have no stars
And you'll think you've gone as far
As you will ever get

You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now

And yeah, yeah, you go where you want to go
Yeah, yeah, be what you want to be
If you ever turn around, you'll see me

I can't really say
Why everybody wishes they were somewhere else
But in the end, the only steps that matter
Are the ones you take all by yourself

You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
Yeah, you and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now
Walk on, walk on, walk on
You can't go back now

You'll Be Fine

"You'll be Fine" by Tim DeLaughter (of the Polyphonic Spree)

I'm surprised that a popular Showtime show like The United States of Tara has no soundtrack.. Nor can I find lyrics or a download (even on iTunes or isohunt) for this song.

Television

The best shows on television:

The Office

Weeds

Glee

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

True Blood

The United States of Tara

Community

Paranoia

There is a Ouija board in my closet and it is causing me a great deal of anxiety. I'm not a fan of Ouija boards because I have an over-active imagination and the idea of spirits, good and bad are one of my biggest fears.

Even though I'm petrified of the idea, I'm still incredibly interested in the paranormal. It all started when my Grandma let me watch The Poltergeist when I was 4. I remember it well. I have watched the movie recently, and compared to a lot of the horror movies these days, it really isn't that scary but still, I get creeped out. There's been an influx of absolutely terrifying scary movies lately, two being Paranormal Activity and the Fourth Kind. Both of those movies scared me so badly, I still have trouble getting them out of my head. The Fourth Kind isn't about ghosts but I'd still consider it in the "paranormal" realm because Aliens are "not normal". I recently succumbed and bought dark curtains for my bedroom window so nothing other-worldly cold stare in.

There are 3 instances in my life where something really scared me. The first was when I was 10 and I was awake late at night. I can't remember if I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep or if something had woke me up. But the sensor light on the front porch suddenly lit up and my heart jumped into my throat. The next thing that happened and that I'm 100% sure happened and wasn't a dream or my imagination was that someone whispered "Sarah". I didn't know whether to hide under my covers or make a run for it. Eventually ,I ran to my moms room and knocked on the door. I told her I had a bad dream but I wish I had told her what really happened. A few years later I told her.

Another time, I was up early at around 6am. I had stayed at my dads house. It was still dark outside and I was going into the kitchen to get some water. I walked past the opening to the living room and a torso shaped figure with no legs jumped from the middle of the stairs to the bottom. The figure looked like a sun-spot or when a camera flashes and there are spots in your vision. It was white like that. I'm not sure if what I saw was real or if it could have been explained by logic. Even before that instance I was nervous in that house.

The last time anything strange happened to me was around this time last year. It was the middle of the night and I woke up, a dark cloaked figure that resembled one of the Wraiths in the Lord of the Ring's movies floated to me. I watched it open my door then it came to my face and attempted to touch me with this dark grey boney, long, long nailed fingers. Before it touched me I tried to make a sound but all that came out was me trying to gasp in surprise but it was like I couldn't breath in to gasp, so it was a weird squeak sound. Then I woke up and figured it was a dream. I woke up and what was weird was that I was turned the opposite way in my bed. My feet were where my head usually was and my head was where my feet usually are. In my dream I was turned this way as well, but when I went to bed I was the right way. I hope to God that this was only a dream and not anything else. There is a long history behind my dream actually. People of all cultures have written about similar experiences in the past. It's called an "Old Hag" dream. Some people believe it's purely psychological and others say its alien abduction. I say that I probably won't sleep well tonight reminscing about it.